Monday, December 04, 2006

Cease and Desist Orders for December 2006

1. Dear Lexus Automobiles,

Newsflash: People do not buy their spouses cars for Christmas. Please stop pretending they do. Every year around this time we get subjected to your ad campaigns. If you insist on continuing with these commercials, at least have the decency to use a different age group as examples of people who do and please put them in front of multi-million dollar mansions instead of modest income homes. At least make it more realistic, have the wife say something like "you know I don't like that color" or "I told you I wanted a sunroof".

I believe your target customer is someone who can't afford to buy their spouse a Lexus for Christmas but wants to think they are in a class of customer who actually can. Speaks volumes of the demographic you are trying to reach.

I ask the three Lexus owners I know if their cars happened to be a Christmas gift from their spouse, they all said no - go figure.

2. Dear Wash FM 97.1,

You really don't have to switch to the all Christmas Song format two weeks before Thanksgiving. That’s just a tad bit early don't you think? Not that your regular format is any more appealing to me but unfortunately I can’t tell my radio what stations to ignore when I press scan.

3. Dear Starbucks,

Please remove all Starbucks Kiosks from Safeway Grocery Stores. Not one of them makes the coffee like they are supposed to. It is always weak and taste like friggin Maxwell House brewed at 7-11. They are continually out of something, whether its cups, lids, syrup, etc. I've actually been to a Safeway Starbucks and they were out of coffee, that's right coffee. How can a place who's sole business is coffee run out of their main product? It's because they don't care.

They continually run your good name into the ground.


Linda said...

Thank you! And to Mr. Sears - The woman that needs to replace her avocado green, 1970's refrigerator would NOT be standing in a kitchen with granite countertops and custom cabinetry.

shawn said...

Dear US government, please find my friend Tom something to do during the day besides bitch about his coffee and radio. don't let him deny it, he enjoys listening to wash FM during the day. he told me it helps him with his nap time after the starbucks wares off. and i think if there was just a few less channels available on his office TV, then we wouldn't hear about the lexus gripe either. i look foward to hearing about the job oppertunities you might have for him in the future. thank you............shawn mahaffey